How to really focus on yourself: 13 realistic ways to do it

For many people, the average day is full of work, life tasks, exercise, and socializing. You likely strive to support your partner, friends, family, and colleagues as best you can. However, these demands on your time and energy can sometimes come at the expense of your mental health and self-care. When you get caught up in your day-to-day routines, it’s easy to forget how to really focus on yourself. 

It might feel selfish, but your ability to show up for others can depend on how well you take care of yourself. Neglecting self-care can lead to burnout, depression, and dissatisfaction.

Self-improvement is an ongoing journey of understanding your emotions and thoughts. By prioritizing rest and learning practical ways to recharge, you can foster a healthier, happier version of yourself.

What does it mean to focus on yourself?

Focusing on yourself means prioritizing your needs and desires rather than those of others. That doesn’t mean you’re actively working against others or being selfish. It simply means you aren’t depleting yourself to make others happy.

It can be helpful to think of your life as a garden, with each flower representing a component of your well-being. Think of the daffodils as representing work demands, roses as your romantic relationship, daisies as friendships, and so on. The watering represents your time and energy.

If you water each patch of flowers, you’ll eventually run out of water. It’s important to know which flowers are worthy of attention so you don’t leave yourself running dry.

Pro tip: When you’re learning how to really focus on yourself, creating and sustaining healthy self-care practices is crucial. A self-care checklist can be a great jumping-off point when working new healthy habits into your daily routine.  

13 realistic ways to focus on yourself

As you practice your self-focus, it’s important to remember your whole self. That means embracing your authentic self, including your unique needs. 

Try paying attention to these four areas:

• Physical: Make sure you’re exercising, sleeping well, and eating healthy.
• Emotional: Check in with yourself and practice self-love. Aim to spend less time on social media apps to avoid comparing yourself to others.
• Inspirational: Work to incorporate meditation, journaling, practicing your faith, or volunteering into your schedule.
• Personal: Make time to relax, indulge in pleasures, partake in your hobbies, and focus on healthy relationships.

Here are 13 realistic ways you can focus on these four aspects of your well-being.

Work on setting healthy boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries creates space to prioritize self-care and happiness. When boundaries are absent, there is an increased risk of giving too much of your time and energy to a task, environment, or person. It’s crucial to create balance and set boundaries, which can help you establish those guardrails. 

Start by checking in with your values and current energy levels. These two factors can help inform your current capacity, letting you know where to draw the line to preserve your well-being. Cultivate strong communication skills to express your limits. 

Evaluate your goals

As you determine how to really focus on yourself, dedicate time to setting new goals or revisiting old ones. Maybe you have objectives that were sidelined when life got busy. Perhaps there is something you’ve always wanted to try or accomplish but never had the time. 

Use the SMART goal-setting method to strategically approach creating goals. This goal-setting method provides specific, measurable, attainable, reasonable, and time-bound objectives. Having a clear step-by-step plan can help you stay focused and achieve your goals. 

Exercise

Physical health affects all aspects of your life, including mental and emotional well-being. In 2022, Frontiers Public Health published research on the impact of different kinds of exercise on university students’ mental health. It found that low-to-moderate-intensity aerobic exercise alleviated symptoms for depressed, stressed, and anxious students. Additionally, yoga proved effective at improving their emotional health. 

Choosing a physical activity that you enjoy means you’re more likely to do it. Consistent exercise has a greater positive impact on your mental health than sporadic workouts.

Prioritize your sleep

In 2021, the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine published detailed evidence of the importance of sleep. The researchers noted that good sleep was a critical factor in goals to improve health, productivity, well-being, and quality of life, while lack of sleep was detrimental to health. 

To boost the quality of your sleep, start by implementing good sleep hygiene practices like limiting caffeine intake, avoiding screens before bed, going to bed early, and sleeping in a completely dark and quiet space. For some, stretching or drinking a nighttime tea before bed can also help. 

Incorporate whole foods into your diet

Nutrition is fuel for your brain and body. The type of food you eat impacts cognitive functioning, emotional regulation, and physical well-being. One of the best ways to really focus on yourself is to eat a diet mainly consisting of whole foods rich in vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. 

As you incorporate more whole foods into your diet, remember that balance is key. You want to eat various fruits, vegetables, grains, and other nutrient-rich foods. However, this doesn’t mean you have to rule out sweet treats. Instead, focus on moderation and avoid foods that are heavily processed or full of refined sugar.

Set aside a few minutes for self-care

When life gets busy, it can feel impossible to find time for yourself. It’s essential to establish a self-care plan and block time on your calendar for it. For example, you can start by setting aside 10 minutes every day to meditate or practice mindfulness exercises. 

The more consistently you practice self-care, the more likely it is to become a good habit, and you may become more comfortable setting aside time to focus on yourself. It’s a good strategy to work on creating balance in your life. 

Journal a few sentences every day

Journaling is a powerful self-reflection tool that can improve mental health. Putting pen to paper can help you ease anxious thoughts, process your emotions, and gain perspective on your life. 

If you can’t think of anything to journal about, consider looking into some helpful journal prompts. It may help you explore your goals, values, and ideas.

Pro tip: If you’re embarking on a journey of self-discovery, journaling is an excellent strategy. Use these self-exploration journal prompts to help you get started. 

Lean into your interests

If you’re looking for a way to spend the time you dedicate to learning how to really focus on yourself, consider further exploring your interests. For example, say you want to pursue a new creative outlet. Maybe you take a painting or woodworking class to lean into this new hobby.

Learning something new is a great way to keep your mind active, excited, and engaged. You’re not limited to taking courses, either. If there is a topic you want to learn more about, consider digging into online community forums or listening to podcasts. 

Spend one evening offline each week

On any given day, you’re surrounded by laptops, cell phones, televisions, and other forms of technology. The average person spends 2 hours and 23 minutes on social media daily. Yet, too much screen time and social media can be a detriment to your well-being. That’s where implementing a digital detox helps. 

The National Institutes of Health published research in 2024 on the impacts of a digital detox. Study participants underwent a period without access to social media. They reported an increase in daily contentment and stress relief. Focusing on yourself means spending time offline, whether you avoid technology for one day per month or turn off your phone after a specific time every night. 

Live by your personal values

Personal values are the statements that capture what is most important to you. You can turn to them as guiding principles when faced with a difficult situation or making a hard decision. When you live by your values, you’re more likely to experience greater life happiness and fulfillment.

Your values can be anything, ranging from how you approach relationships to how you prioritize your well-being. A personal value example could be living a life of integrity, which impacts how you care for yourself, solve problems, and support others. 

Spend time outside

Spending time outdoors has many health benefits, including improved cognitive function and lower stress levels. Even if you have a busy schedule, there are several ways to enjoy the outdoors. 

Consider taking a daily walk on your lunch break, getting sunlight in the morning, or stepping outside for five minutes of fresh air. Standing barefoot in the grass can be a helpful meditation and grounding technique, as nature has a calming effect on the body and mind. 

Indulge in pleasures

Allow yourself to sit back and truly enjoy the things that bring you the greatest pleasure. Perhaps you feel most at ease when you relax in a coffee shop with a good book. Or maybe you find the most joy in being surrounded by loved ones. 

Indulging in experiences that help relieve stress and make you feel good is one of the best ways to really focus on yourself. Not every activity or task must be productive or accomplish something. Time spent appreciating and relishing the little pleasures of everyday life can be fulfilling and induce feelings of happiness. 

Spend time with loved ones

The people around you can significantly impact how you focus on and care for yourself. In 2021, BMC Public Health published research that examined how social connections create positive health outcomes. Notably, the study found that social support boosted relationships and motivated people to change their behavior to achieve better health outcomes. 

Surrounding yourself with people you trust creates a sense of belonging, helping you feel loved and supported. You might realize that being open about your goal to focus on yourself is received with encouragement and excitement.

Why is it important to focus on yourself? 

If your life is a garden, learning how to really focus on yourself means refilling your watering can so you can continue to nurture each aspect of your life. These are five reasons why it’s so important to focus on yourself:

• Improved sense of self-worth and self-esteem
• More self-confidence to tackle big goals
• Better relationships with loved ones and colleagues
• Increased physical, mental, and emotional health
• Greater ability to support others

When dedicating time to focus on yourself, it’s possible to feel bad or selfish at first. It’s important to remember that it’s rarely self-centered to prioritize your health and well-being. The negative effects of ignoring your needs, like burnout or depression, are too great not to pay attention to your health needs. 

When you temporarily step away from life’s demands, you create an opportunity to begin self-discovery. You can make decisions to increase your life satisfaction and support your well-being.

Additionally, taking time for yourself can help you identify the areas of life that demand too much of your time and energy. For example, you might identify a toxic relationship and let go of someone to better focus on your career, or you might change jobs to have more time with your family. 

Finding the right balance can be difficult. With so many competing priorities, trying to do everything can be draining. Let BetterUp Coaches be part of the solution. They can offer you tips on how to set boundaries and make moves toward your ideal life.

Questions to ask yourself to maintain self-focus

Sometimes it’s easier to let others dictate your happiness. You might start to think that if you say “yes” one more time, the validation will bring you joy. You might also think that the pain of saying “no” isn’t worth it or selfish.

But it’s unwise to hinge your mental health on external validation. You have the power to define your happiness.

Here are examples of self-reflection questions that can help keep you on track:

• What do I enjoy doing when no one is watching?
• What am I most curious about learning, and how can I do it?
• When I write down my thoughts and desires, what patterns emerge?
• Do I treat myself like I would a friend I care about?
• How do I show up for myself and practice self-compassion?
• How often do I put others’ needs ahead of my own?

These questions can shift you toward activities and habits that bring you joy independent of others. 

Embrace how to really focus on yourself

Humans are social creatures. It’s in our nature to accommodate, support, and fit in with others. Discovering yourself is hard work, but you can learn how to really focus on yourself and walk the path to self-improvement. 

You’re a unique individual with skills, likes, and dislikes that set you apart from others. When you team up with a coach, you’ll get support on how to focus on yourself and nurture your well-being. 

Take charge of your well-being with a BetterUp Coach to master the art of setting boundaries and unlock your full potential.