How to calm your mind and stop overthinking: 15 tips

If you’re wondering how to calm your mind from overthinking, it’s likely you’ve been feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Overthinking is a thought process that may involve ruminating on past events, stressing about future outcomes, or dwelling on worst-case scenarios. It can include everything from replaying conversations in your head to considering all the things you wish you’d said during a discussion.

This unhelpful habit of thinking about past “if onlys” and future “what ifs” is often fueled by anxiety and worry, which creates a snowball effect. For example, you may be anxious about whether you made a mistake or worried about what will happen at a future event.

Overthinking often leads to unnecessary fear and stress that keeps you from living in the present moment. However, with self-awareness and the right coping techniques, you can shift your brain and stop intrusive thoughts. Learn how to overcome overthinking by recognizing these thoughts and identifying what’s causing them.

5 signs you’re overthinking

It can be challenging to know when you’ve crossed the line from thoughtful consideration to damaging overthinking, especially if your brain is accustomed to negative thought patterns. Here are some signs that you might be thinking too much: 

    1. You can’t think about anything else: If you begin and end your day with a worry on your mind, you’re likely overthinking. These intrusive thoughts might consume you to the point that they interfere with work and relationships.
    2. You’re focusing on things you can’t control: Sometimes the success or failure of your decisions can hinge on factors outside your locus of control. If you’re overthinking, you might focus on these elements and refuse to finalize choices until you find a way to dictate the outcome, which is an impossible task.
    3. You’re second-guessing your decisions: After you’ve made a decision, overthinking may cause you to feel overwhelmed with self-doubt about whether you made the right choice. You may also dwell on the potential consequences of a wrong choice.
    4. You feel mentally exhausted: Overthinking creates a negative feedback loop that saps your mental energy. You might feel like you’re cycling through potential options and their outcomes, leaving you feeling anxious and unable to decide.
    5. You can’t relax: If you’re prone to overthinking, you might feel significant stress and experience tension throughout your body. You may notice your jaw clenching and shoulders tightening. These symptoms could also interfere with your sleep

The short-term effects of overthinking can build over time, creating long-term consequences that affect your physical health, mental health, and overall well-being

Another way to find out whether you’re overthinking is to work with a licensed professional who uses rumination scales and questionnaires. A few options to try together include the following:

How to stop overthinking and calm your mind

It can be challenging to stop yourself from spiraling, especially when you try to do it alone.  If you've been an overthinker for a while, you may not even realize you’re overthinking. If you do notice some of the warning signs, here are a few ways you can stop overthinking and calm your anxiety.

1. Take deep breaths

Close your eyes and breathe slowly. Deep breaths deliver more oxygen to the brain. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for helping you “rest and digest” after a stressful event. It’s the opposite of your sympathetic nervous system, which triggers your fight-or-flight response

In other words, parasympathetic breathing exercises and meditation can calm you down, diminish fearful and anxious thoughts, and clear your mind.

2. Find a distraction

If breathing techniques don’t help your brain stop ruminating, find a way to distract yourself. Distractions help shift your focus away from what’s troubling you, which can reduce stress. A temporary distraction may be exactly what you need to reset and recharge. 

A few things you can do to distract yourself include the following:

  • Watching a movie 
  • Cooking or baking 
  • Exercising 
  • Going outside and standing in the sunlight
  • Reading a book
  • Learning to knit or crochet

If you’re having trouble starting an activity, try giving yourself a time limit. For example, tell yourself you’re going to read for 15 minutes. Within five minutes, you may find yourself immersed in another world. Getting started is the hardest part.

3. Look at the big picture

When you’re in a stressful moment, it can be hard to see how far you’ve come. That’s when it can be helpful to take a step back and examine the big picture

For example, you may have been nervous during a work presentation and told a bad joke. To calm your mind and stop overthinking, remember that you achieved your goal since your colleagues understood the information you presented.

Try to recognize when you start to spiral or get lost in worst-case scenarios triggered by your ruminating thoughts. Self-awareness is crucial to understanding yourself, developing positive thought patterns, and building good habits.

4. Acknowledge your successes

You deserve acknowledgment for your successes, no matter how small or big. Each time you accomplish something, take time to celebrate the win. This can help you develop a positive mindset that may make it easier to identify when you’re overly focused on negative outcomes.

Also, remember to practice self-compassion regarding your failures. Try to see each setback as an opportunity to learn from your mistakes.

5. Embrace your fears 

You can’t change the past, but you can adjust how you respond to memories from your experiences. Nurturing positive thoughts while accepting that errors aren’t always detrimental is a great way to build resilience and prepare for future roadblocks. Having a little fear is healthy if you can push past your comfort zone to continue toward your goals. 

 6. Start journaling

Journaling is a fantastic way to reflect on your attitudes and progress while developing mindfulness. According to a study published in the journal JMIR Mental Health, journaling can also reduce anxiety symptoms you might experience when overthinking. It also helps you carve out some time in your busy schedule for rest and self-reflection

Anxiety journaling is a type of journaling that focuses on writing down your anxious thoughts and fear-based emotions to find stress relief. If you’re not sure where to start, try using self-discovery journal prompts or journal prompts for mental health as guidance.

7. Live in the present moment

The habit of mentally debating your thoughts keeps you tethered to past events or future predictions. However, accepting and letting go of negative thoughts can help bring you back to the present moment.

The more you actively train your brain to shift from past and future thinking to the present, the more automatic it will become. Learning to think and talk to yourself positively can also prevent you from dwelling on the past since you won’t feel the need to judge everything you’ve said and done.

8. Meditate

Meditation and mindfulness are two stress management techniques that can help you enhance your mood, reduce anxiety, and improve emotional regulation

You don’t have to be experienced to meditate like a pro. Try starting a mindfulness and meditation practice using guided imagery exercises. Activities that help you narrow your focus on a peaceful setting or sound can quickly relax your body and distract you from overthinking.

9. Create a worry schedule

Set aside a specific time each day dedicated to addressing your concerns. When worrying thoughts arise outside this window, acknowledge them and postpone them until your designated worry time. This structured approach helps contain overthinking and prevents it from spreading throughout your day.

10. Practice the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique

When overthinking starts to overwhelm you, engage your senses to anchor yourself in the present moment. Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This exercise helps interrupt racing thoughts and brings your attention back to your immediate surroundings.

11. Establish a wind-down routine

Create a calming evening ritual that signals to your brain it's time to slow down. This might include dimming the lights, enjoying a warm drink, reading a pleasant book, or practicing gentle stretches. A consistent routine can help prevent nighttime overthinking and promote better sleep.

12. Use the "change the channel" method

Think of your mind as a TV with different channels. When you notice yourself stuck on the "overthinking channel," consciously choose to change to a different mental channel. Focus on something concrete and immediate, like planning your next meal or organizing your workspace.

13. Set healthy boundaries

Learn to say no to additional commitments when your mental energy is depleted. Establishing clear boundaries helps prevent overwhelm and reduces the mental clutter that often leads to overthinking. Remember that protecting your mental space is just as important as managing your time.

14. Create an action plan

When you catch yourself overthinking, transform those spinning thoughts into concrete actions. Write down one small, manageable step you can take to address your concern. Having a clear action plan helps redirect mental energy from worry to problem-solving, giving you a sense of control and progress.

15. Ask for help

Everyone overthinks occasionally, but if you're constantly playing through worst-case scenarios and feel like it’s affecting your mental health, consider contacting a professional. Professional helpers like coaches or therapists and mental health professionals can guide you through dark times and teach you to reframe your thoughts. They can also help you see your problems from a different perspective and develop personalized plans to help you set and achieve your goals.

If you decide to see a therapist, consider asking about rumination-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which was developed to help treat negative overthinking.

Types of overthinking

Though overthinking involves dwelling on unhelpful thoughts repeatedly, there are multiple types of overthinking, and each view worries through a different lens. Here are some of the most common negative thought processes that may be behind your overthinking.

Overgeneralizing

Overgeneralizing is a distorted way of thinking in which you make broad assumptions based on little evidence or a single past experience. For example, if you fail to meet a goal, you might decide that you’ll never succeed at anything. Since you had a bad experience, you now generalize that future situations will be the same.

Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing is when you assume the worst-case scenario will happen, even when there’s no logical reason to make that assumption. This type of thinking can create a cycle that goes beyond your initial problem. It can be a difficult cycle to break because your mind can imagine all of these scenarios quickly.

For example, if your car starts making a weird noise, you might assume that your car is broken beyond repair instead of simply scheduling a maintenance appointment. You might then snowball into thinking about how you can’t afford to buy a new car. This can make you fear not having enough money to pay your rent, which could end in eviction.

All-or-nothing thinking

All-or-nothing thinking is the idea that something will either be a great success or an utter failure and that there are no potential outcomes between those extremes.

An example of all-or-nothing thinking would be deciding your entire day was unproductive because you didn’t complete a specific task on your to-do list. This thought process can make it difficult to figure out what you’re good at because you expect immediate perfection without the opportunity to develop your abilities over time.

Automatic negative thoughts

Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) refer to involuntary negative thoughts that pop into your head in response to a situation or trigger. Examples of ANTs would be thinking, “I’ll never be good enough,” in response to a small failure or mistake, or “I'll always be alone” after a bad date. 

According to an article published in the journal Collabra: Psychology, destructive thought patterns are associated with worry and depression, as they are more likely to make you feel anxious. Automatic negative thoughts are often irrational and self-sabotaging. They are a habit similar to a reflex in that they happen naturally and take practice to overcome.

What causes overthinking?

Overthinking can be caused by internal and external factors both in and out of your control. A few common causes of overthinking include the following:

  • Mental health conditions: Overthinking can be a symptom of mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression. It’s commonly associated with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), which causes people to worry excessively about everyday situations.
  • Trauma: People who have experienced trauma may be extra vigilant or on high alert to create a sense of security or safety. Overthinking can be used as a coping mechanism to gain a feeling of control over the environment.
  • Perfectionism: Perfectionism is associated with high standards and being overly critical of yourself and your performance. Unrealistic expectations can lead perfectionists to become overthinkers. 
  • Low self-esteem: If you have low self-esteem, you’re more likely to second-guess yourself out of insecurity or a fear of being judged.
  • Stress: Stressful events can lead to rumination about those situations or other pieces of your life.

Consequences of overthinking

Retraining your brain not to overthink can benefit your health and well-being. Conversely, overthinking that isn’t addressed can cause significant negative impacts that may affect the following:

Physical health

Overthinking can lead to physical manifestations similar to those of an anxiety disorder, including the following:

These physical symptoms add to the emotional load caused by overthinking, making life seem much more difficult.

Mental health

According to a systematic review published in the journal Social Science and Medicine, thinking too much overlaps with mental health disorders, like anxiety or depression, in some populations. Some studies have found overthinking to be a cause or precursor of depression, while others have found it can lead to anxiety and depression-like symptoms. 

Regardless, overthinking can exacerbate pre-existing mental health conditions and make concentration and problem-solving harder. This can cause challenges in both your personal and professional life.

Self-esteem

It’s hard to feel good about yourself when your mistakes and shortcomings play on repeat in your head. That type of internal monologue can wear away at your confidence levels and self-worth over time, leaving your self-esteem lacking.

Cognitive function

Continually researching or seeking second opinions is a form of indecision known as analysis paralysis or decision fatigue. You can overwhelm yourself with information and options so much that your decision-making skills are impaired. This makes it difficult to draw conclusions in your personal or professional life and can also lead to problems with focus and concentration.

Learn how to calm your mind from overthinking

If you're an overthinker, calming your mind from overthinking can lead to improved mental health, decreased worry and rumination, and a greater focus on the present moment. All these factors can result in enjoying a happier and more fulfilling life.

Figuring out how to stop negative overthinking is an important component of self-improvement. However, having the courage to reach out for help is another. 

If you’re struggling to rewire your brain or relax your mind, consider working with a personal coach. Coaches are specially trained to provide personalized guidance and strategies to help you better understand your behavior and achieve your goals.

Overcome overthinking by working with a BetterUp Coach to find inner peace.

Boost your mental well-being with AI coaching

BetterUp Digital’s AI Coaching delivers instant, science-backed strategies to help you manage stress, improve emotional resilience, and cultivate a positive mindset.

Boost your mental well-being with AI coaching

BetterUp Digital’s AI Coaching delivers instant, science-backed strategies to help you manage stress, improve emotional resilience, and cultivate a positive mindset.

About the author

Terre Short, MBA, PCC
Terre Short is an author, speaker, coach and creator of Thriving Leader Collaborative. She believes that authentic leadership is achieved when we embrace our inner wisdom to overcome challenges. Terre excels at distilling leadership skills into actionable steps. She inspires leaders around the globe by crafting leadership development programs, providing team coaching, and 1:1 coaching. Her approach hinges on how she cultivates curiosity, listens deeply, and explores compassionately.

Terre spent over 30 years as a leader, including as a senior executive in Healthcare and Hospitality, including 5-star hotels and advancing the guest model to patient care with the largest U.S. health system, HCA. She earned her MBA in Healthcare Management, her Professional Coach Certification (PCC), and is a certified NeuroMindfulness Practitioner. Terre authored the award-winning "The Words We Choose: Your Guide to How and Why Words Matter," and co-authored the best-seller, "The Great LeadHERship Awakening." She is a guest speaker on many podcasts and has been interviewed for various media, including Fast Company and NPR.