Are you a likable person? 6 qualities of likable people

The desire to be liked is a social instinct, so it’s natural to want others to consider you a likable person. While everyone you meet won’t feel drawn to you, likable people tend to embody certain characteristics. Many popular or highly admired individuals are cheerful, have positive attitudes, are good listeners, and display a good sense of humor. 

Think about people you enjoy being around. Most of them likely leave you feeling energized and happier after you spend time with them. You probably enjoy being around these people because they make it enjoyable.

You can be this type of person in the lives of others as well. Developing certain positive qualities can help you attract more meaningful connections and become a more likable person.

What makes a likable person?

If you recently started a new job or moved to a different city, you probably intended to put your best foot forward as you started meeting people. Making a good first impression is important, and how you present yourself and interact with others initially can impact whether they see you as a likable person.

Still, human connection is naturally complex. Everyone has a different personality, unique interests, and individual quirks that affect their ability to relate to and connect with others. It’s OK to find that you don’t get along exceptionally with everyone you meet.

Likable people, however, tend to have a positive attitude and a keen ability to make those they speak with feel important, understood, and appreciated. These characteristics can make likable people magnetic and compel others to want to stay in their lives long term. The positive traits they possess are simply fun to be around. 

Research indicates that people who are found to be the most popular in a social setting tend to be polite, friendly, and warm. If you enjoy spending time with a coworker, it may be because they are quick to check in on you when they know you’re struggling, or they consistently appreciate your efforts to be a team player. If you have a friend everyone likes, it could be because they are kind, perpetually smiling, have a good sense of humor, or are great at lifting others up. 

There may be small things you don’t consciously notice about someone that gives them a high level of likability. They may use open, welcoming body language and make intentional eye contact when speaking with you. Something as subtle as their posture or smile may help them seem naturally confident, self-assured, and friendly. 

6 personality traits that enhance likability 

The following positive personality traits are just a few of the many elements that make a genuinely likable person.

• Authenticity: It’s usually easy to tell when a person is pretending to be someone they’re not or if they're being “fake” in their interactions with you. A hallmark of being a likable person is presenting yourself in a genuine way that highlights the positive traits of your authentic self.
• Curiosity: If you’ve ever had a lengthy conversation with someone really likable, you probably noticed that they asked you plenty of questions and stayed engaged in getting to know more about you. Curiosity and showing interest are great ways to challenge yourself to come across as more likable.
• Self-awareness: Having the self-awareness to take responsibility for who you are and what you do is key to growth and personal development. People who are likable understand how their thoughts and actions can impact the world around them. They are able to adjust their behaviors and see others’ perspectives to ensure their impact is ultimately positive.
• Positivity: A likable person’s positive impact usually doesn’t come out of nowhere, however. Studies have shown that adults who put time and effort into thinking positively report more resilience and life satisfaction, making them more enjoyable to be around. 
• Active listening: It’s not a great feeling when you’re having a conversation with someone who is clearly not listening, whether they’re scrolling on their phone or just totally zoned out. Likable people recognize the importance of active listening and stay engaged in their interactions. Being a good listener makes the other person feel validated and that what they have to say is meaningful. 
• Compassion: Sometimes, putting yourself in someone else’s shoes is necessary to see their point of view and understand why they feel a certain way. Compassion and empathy are common behaviors of likable people, and they directly impact others’ experiences as well as their own. Psychological research has found that practicing compassion toward others promotes an overall sense of well-being and combats feelings of loneliness.

Likable person test: are you a likable person?

While there are a few universal traits we all typically appreciate in a friend, coworker, or partner, everyone has a slightly different idea of what it means to be a likable person. 

If you want a third-party perspective on whether you’re a likable person, consider taking a free Likable Person Test online. This type of quiz can provide further insight into the ways in which you may or may not be easy to get along with, but keep in mind that a quiz isn’t the ultimate determiner of your worth or how deserving you are of admiration. Take quizzes with a grain of salt and try not to let them influence your self-perception. 

8 unlikable behaviors to avoid to become a more likable person

Whether your quiz results show you’re already quite likable or have room to improve, knowing which unlikable behaviors to minimize can help you become a more likable person. 

• Stubbornness: While it can be tough to admit when you’re wrong, sometimes it’s the best thing you can do. Knowing how to apologize can deepen a relationship and maintain the positive perception others have of you. Being difficult or stubborn in a conflict often keeps the disagreement going, and you’ll risk splintering the relationship for good. 
• Being unsure of yourself: If you struggle to overcome insecurities or improve your self-esteem, learning to harness the power of self-love and authenticity can help you feel more sure of who you are. One of the benefits of self-compassion is that it increases your resilience so you can continue working on self-improvement.
• Distraction: We all get distracted from time to time, but if you want to be a likable person, try putting effort into staying attentive and showing consideration to those around you. Likable people tend to notice small things like changes in mood or body language and respond to them carefully and empathetically. 
• Trying too hard: Being desperate for attention is never an attractive or positive trait, and likable people don’t feel the need to solicit attention or affirmation from anyone else. Instead, they earn it by being a good, pleasant person. If you find yourself looking for attention from other people to feel secure in yourself, try to practice self-compassion and find internal validation first.
• Dishonesty: Deception often hurts both the person lying and the one being lied to. Likable people feel secure enough in themselves to be honest, and they understand that the truth can save many relationships and resolve even the most difficult situations. Insincerity can also be a form of dishonesty. Someone who puts too much weight on the idea of being liked by others may act like someone other than their real self in order to fit in. 
• Negativity: Likable people attract and impress others because they are typically joyful and promote a positive atmosphere. Getting bogged down in negativity or complaining excessively can make you seem unlikable. Try practicing gratitude and adopting a positive mindset. 
• Selfishness: Likable people know the importance of sharing and being selfless when others need help, so try to be gracious and caring if you want to learn how to make people like you. This doesn’t mean you have to shirk your own needs or desires, but honing your ability to support the people in your life can increase your likability.
• Arrogance: Although it’s a good thing to be proud of who you are, there is a big difference between confidence and arrogance. People who are universally liked by others are sure of themselves but don’t see themselves as superior to others.

Self-improvement paves the way to becoming a likable person

If low self-esteem makes it hard to maintain healthy boundaries in relationships, or if you find yourself hurting others with selfish or dishonest behavior, learning to be more likable could improve your day-to-day life. The most likable people you know are skilled in drawing others in with their positive attitudes and ability to practice compassion and respect. 

Impression management, or influencing how others perceive you, can become easier with guidance from a qualified and experienced personal development expert. If you want to become a more likable person, a coach can provide valuable support. Meet with a BetterUp Coach and start your journey to becoming a bright, influential presence in the lives of those around you.